


It's You (also, it's me)

by destroyedspectacularly



Series: Everybody Wants Some [3]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: (sorry), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Embarrassed Ray, Embarrassment, Fake AH Crew, M/M, Making Out, Marijuana, Questioning Sexuality, Recreational Drug Use, Sexuality Crisis, drug use to soothe anxiety, i hope i did this justice, just weed this time pals no worries, michael is a stripper for a good bit if that makes it any better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 03:19:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7784623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destroyedspectacularly/pseuds/destroyedspectacularly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray had been struggling with his sexuality for a while, but was fully prepared to ignore it and move on with his life. That is, until Gavin joins the Fake AH Crew and kind of fucks it all up for him.<br/>--<br/>"Ray wasn’t even going to bring up that he knew Gavin was the one who stopped the music just in time to embarrass him in front of all of his happy-go-lucky, crime-committing pals. He just had no fucking control over anything he said around Gavin ever. He felt like he knew why but he couldn’t put words to it, he didn’t want to. Gavin was still looking at Ray with those fucking eyes that made Ray want to say yes to everything, but he couldn’t even speak."</p><p>(Can be read as a standalone !!!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's You (also, it's me)

Ray had heard about the boys’ little conversation about who Gavin had been sleeping with in the crew very discreetly through Jack.  
  
And by discreetly, Ray obviously means very very not discreetly. Like the opposite of discreetly.  
  
He heard the ruckus in the living room through his door and decided to just let that play itself out before he came out to see what was up. The decision was taken out of his hands, however, when Jack knocked loudly on Ray’s door and then opened it.  
  
That was basically Jack’s way of telling Ray, “Get out of your fucking room something’s happening,” which she did from time to time. Ray always slumped out of his room a little more eagerly than usual because it either meant there was some sort of violence or something hilarious he needed to see going on. Or an impromptu mission.  
  
When he walked out, Jack was leaning against a pillar just outside of living room chuckling at the scene before her. Ray was met with some loud-ass song from one of Gavin’s stripper playlists- of which, Ray knew, he had many- and Michael, shirtless, dancing around on their coffee table while the boys tossed dollar bills at him. Ray laughed loudly, unheard over the music, and put his arm around Jack to lean against her.  
  
“This is tasteful!” he yelled over the music for her to hear.  
  
“They were making bets on who Gav has fucked!” Ray shifted his gaze to Gavin as Jack yelled in his ear.  
  
“Oh yeah?” the music was so loud he could feel the bass from the shitty song in his chest. He was pretty sure the boys didn’t even know he and Jack were watching them because of the music and, well, Michael. Michael had already kicked off his shoes and had jumped off the table to attempt to give a lap dance to a stoic but smiling Ryan. But Ray was looking at a pants-less Gavin who was grinning from ear to ear, and had his phone out trying to film the scene.  
  
“Who won the bet?” he yelled into Jack’s ear, not taking his eyes off Gavin’s form.  
  
“Ryan,” Ray looked at Jack in surprise and she just nodded in agreement, “I know! Apparently Gavin’s fucked everybody but me and you!” she shouted, laughing as she did. Ray laughed along warily, watching Gavin’s bright smile turn to laughter as Geoff poured a lot more than a shot of whiskey into Michael’s mouth while he was dancing on Ryan.  
  
“Wanna put money on how long till Gavin sleeps with you?” Ray teased, poking Jack in the side as he talked.  
  
“Yeah fucking right! I think you and I both know out of the two of us, Gav’s fucking _you_ next!” Jack yelled. Which would have been really funny and great except for that when Jack got to about the ‘G’ in ‘Gav’ the music had shut off and the whole room had turned around to hear Jack yell “Gav’s fucking _you_ next!” in Ray’s face.  
  
Ray blushed furiously at all of the eyes on him and Jack had slapped her hands over her mouth to muffle the laughter, but no one else bothered to muffle theirs. Ray felt completely cornered and knew that his face must have said it all. But he knew nothing if not how to roll with any situation, so he did his best to school his face into an easy smile despite his flushed complexion and walked into the room, dragging Jack with him. He knew the laughter was lighthearted, so he tried to keep that in mind.  
  
“So, uh, that was cool. Anyone wanna light up?” he sat on the couch and pulled a joint out of his pocket, not waiting for anyone to respond before lighting it, everyone transitioning back into normal conversation for Ray’s sake.  
  
Ray refused to let it get to him because he was sure that no one gave a shit anyway. The only person who knew that Ray was struggling with his sexuality _at all_ was Jack and he didn’t even know why he told her. He knew that to most of the crew just fucked who they liked and gender didn’t fucking matter, but Ray hadn’t even thought that was an option before he joined up. Jack was always telling him that even if Ray decided one way or the other, he wouldn’t have to tell the crew in some sort of coming-out whatever-the-fuck because the crew would stick by him no matter what.  
  
Ray figured he would never have to make sense of it anyway but then Gavin joined up and Ray started feeling something. Looking at the crew differently. It had him a little shaken up. And Jack was the only one who knew, though Ray was _sure_ Jack had told Geoff. And now it felt like everyone had a little peek at what Jack and Ray talked about in Jack’s room in the middle of the night every now and then. Needless to say he was fucking anxious.  
  
Gavin giggled while everyone tried very hard not to do the same and Geoff fell in beside Ray on the couch, stealing the joint from between his lips and putting his arm around him.  
  
Ray blew out a cloud of smoke while Geoff took a hit, and when the smoke dissipated Gavin was there, beaming curiously at him. Ray gave him a small nervous smile and then looked away quickly as Geoff pulled Ray closer into his side and held the joint up to his lips.  
  
“Thanks buddy,” Geoff said as he let Ray take a drag. Ray let the smoke stay in his lungs for a bit and nodded, feeling lighter already. He could feel his mouth grinning happily and he rested his head on Geoff’s shoulder to ground him. Geoff’s hoodie was soft and Ray couldn’t help but nuzzle it a little. “Ray’s like, the prepared guy around here. Why can’t everyone be like Ray?”  
  
He opened his eyes and saw that his joint had made it across the room to Michael, who had made himself at home in Ryan’s lap, pants still undone, much to Ryan’s apparent discontent.  
  
“Hey, did everyone know that fucking Ryan has a super comfy lap? What the fuck?” Michael situated himself sideways on Ryan’s lap, and wiggled his ass around as he talked. Ryan put a stop to that pretty quickly by gripping Michael hard by the waist.  
  
“You keep that up you’re gonna find out how “super comfy” the ground is,” Ryan let out from between gritted teeth. Michael just smiled and blew smoke in Ryan’s face, while Jack laughed.  
  
Jack was sitting on the ground by the armchair Ryan and Michael were in, leaning against it. Michael had passed the joint to Jack who was about to get up to pass it back to Geoff but Ray stopped her.  
  
“No worries, you guys can split that over there, I got another for me and Geoff. So no one has to get up,” he pulled another well-rolled joint from his pocket and Geoff pinched his cheek before taking it from him. Someone turned the music back on at a reasonable volume, and Ray remembered Gavin.  
  
Ray looked up and saw him sitting on the coffee table in front of him, “Oh and Gav too, if you wanna hit this dude,” Ray ambiguously gestured that Gavin was welcome to do so, and Gavin smirked and moved to sit on the other side of Ray on the couch. Ray let Geoff pass the joint to Gavin instead of him because they had a headstart on him anyway.  
  
Gavin took a nice hit and smiled at Ray as he passed it to him. Ray smiled back because he loved when he could smoke everyone out, it made him feel useful. Gavin blew his smoke on Ray’s face and laughed loudly at Ray’s confused expression afterwards. Ray elbowed him in the ribs hard and Gavin fell off the couch, making everyone laugh.  
  
And Ray knew that everything was fine.  
  
\--  
  
Ray decided that today was just gonna be one of those days where he stayed high till his head hit the pillow. Or his carpet. Or something. So he went through the day on a cloud, finding a space to smoke whenever he felt the high fading. He ended up on the carpeted floor of his room that night after kicking Michael’s ass on some game he couldn’t remember the name of an hour later.  
  
He had laid himself out spread eagle on the beige carpet and thought of his snowy winters at home. They weren’t fun or memorable at all, but he loved the snow. His hands loosely gripped the fibers of the plush carpet and he imagined it was the cold powder between his fingers.  
  
Gavin opened the door when Ray was in the middle of making a snow angel. On the carpet. Gavin chuckled and Ray shot up from his position on the ground, sitting up as if it was a casual and _totally intentional_ stretch.  
  
“What’re you doing there, Ray?” Gavin glanced outside of the room and then closed the door behind him before taking a few more steps into Ray’s room.  
  
“Uh,” Ray searched his mind for something that made sense but Gavin was in his room again and it always made his brain foggy. Also he was still pretty high. “Fuck if I have an answer for you, honestly.” Ray reached behind him and picked up his bong from where he had laid it gingerly by the wall furthest from the door.  
  
Gavin moved to sit on Ray’s bed, facing him. He watched Ray pack the bowl silently and then broke the silence with, “Still high?”  
  
Ray looked up at him and felt like Gavin was very far up and away from him. Ray just nodded.  
  
“Why? You wanna be?” Ray asked, aiming his words at the sky. Gavin gave him a funny look and nodded, smiling.  
  
“Join me down here on Earth then, dude,” Ray patted the spot next to him before taking a hit from the bong. Gavin joined him on the ground and Ray finally felt like he was actually in the same room as Gavin. Gavin sat cross legged next to him, and kept eye contact with Ray as he hit the bong after him. The prolonged eye contact was somehow hilarious to Ray and he let out a sudden laugh, sputtering smoke out and feeling light.  
  
Ray’s laugh made Gavin laugh, and he came up coughing and laughing, putting the bong down as they both fell over laughing stupidly. They were laying facing each other and Gavin’s eyes were red and watery and he was still coughing. Ray laid staring at him for what must have been a full minute while Gavin was coughing before he reacted.  
  
“Oh, shit. Hold on,” he got up and made his way to the mini-fridge in the room and pulled out two cold water bottles. One for him and one for Gavin. The crawl back to a still-coughing Gavin felt like miles.  
  
“Here ya go. Wait that one’s mine. No this one is. Fuck it doesn’t matter, here,” he opened it before handing it to Gavin because Gavin could never open a damn water bottle on his own.  
  
“Thanks Ray,” Gavin swallowed down half the water bottle in one go and Ray tried not to watch.  
  
Ray looked at Gavin’s socked feet and realized that Gavin must be wearing sleep clothes. Ray always thought that Gavin wore silk boxers and nothing else to sleep. Or nothing at all. But Gavin was wearing soft grey sweatpants and a black shirt so thin Ray could see the hair on his chest through it.  
  
It was so fucking endearing and it was killing Ray. He probably had these just so he could be decent and comfortable at the same time every now and then. He wanted to be decent around Ray. Ray laid back down. And realized he was still fully dressed like an asshole. It was easily 2am. He started unzipping his stupid hoodie and was startled when Gavin let out an exaggerated gasp.  
  
“Are y’gonna take off the hoodie?” Gavin said excitedly.  
  
“Um. Yeah?” Ray continued slowly unzipping his hoodie while looking at Gavin suspiciously.  
  
“It’s so rare I see you without it on is all,” Gavin said laying on his side and watching as Ray pulled at the hoodie from the back as to take it off. Ray laughed at Gavin’s comment.  
  
“That’s not fucking true. You come to my room every other night dude,” he looked at Gavin as he tossed the hoodie somewhere behind him, “I can’t be wearing my hoodie in the middle of the night all the time, that’s just fucking stupid,”  
  
“Then you’re stupid,” Gavin laughed out, “Because no matter what time I come in here at night you are _always_ fully dressed and I only _rarely_ see your forearms,” Gavin grabbed Ray’s bare arms as he spoke and Ray made it a point to not blush.  
  
“Jesus I must be some kind of jackass,” Ray said. He really can’t imagine staying in his day clothes that long. He liked to be comfortable at night.  
  
“I guess something about me prevents you from getting undressed,” Gavin said, sliding his hands down to Ray’s as he continued, “Why’s that?”  
  
Ray shivered and tried to keep his hands relaxed while Gavin played with his fingers.  
  
“Um how about I’ll answer your question if you answer mine?” Gavin looked up at him with sparkling eyes and Ray was _so irreparably fucked._  
  
“Fair ‘nough.” Gavin responded.  
  
“Cool. Uh, why’d you stop the music all of a sudden like that when we were in the living room?” Ray said coolly. Gavin dropped his hands and blushed slightly.  
  
“Um. Sorry?”  
  
“You know what I said, dude.”  
  
“Uh,” Gavin laughed a little and Ray tried really hard not to smile at the sound, “No I’m genuinely sorry! But I just kinda saw you and Jack talking and you kept looking at me and… well I was curious! Didn’t think Jack would embarrass you like that,”  
  
“I mean. Y-you stopped the music so. Technically _you’re_ the one who embarrassed me,” Ray’s face was hot and he knew that he felt stupid for staring at Gavin like that and being caught too.  
  
“Oh sweet Ray, I’m so sorry love,” Gavin picked Ray’s hands back up and kissed them and Ray _really_ had to look away because he was sure his face had burst into flames, “Can you forgive me?”  
  
And Ray really, really could. He wasn’t even going to bring up that he knew Gavin was the one who stopped the music _just in time_ to embarrass Ray in front of all of his happy-go-lucky, crime-committing pals. He just had no fucking control over anything he said around Gavin ever. He felt like he knew why but he couldn’t put words to it, he didn’t want to. Gavin was still looking at Ray with those fucking eyes that made Ray want to say yes to everything, but he couldn’t even speak because he had just realized just how close to each other they were laying.  
  
“Ray?” Gavin said softly, and Ray felt Gavin’s breath on his face and he felt like he was going to _cry._  
  
Ray had closed his eyes and was waiting for it to pass, he knew he was just high and irrational and just needed a sec to let it all settle in so he could believe it. He would believe that he was just high and then his mind would clear. Then he would be fine and he would speak and this would just be another Weird Moment With Ray™.  
  
But then Ray felt Gavin’s lips against his cheek and he felt like a prayer he doesn’t remember praying had been answered and he was absolutely _not going to fucking cry._  
  
So he laughed. Well it was also kind of a sob but it was mostly a laugh and Gavin pretended there weren’t tears in Ray’s beautiful eyelashes and they laughed together.  
  
And then Ray was kissing Gavin and he felt like waves crashing on the beach, the sunrise after his first heist, and snowflakes kissing his skin on the first snowfall of the season back home. Unexpected and beautiful. Ray’s lips were hesitant but Gavin’s were insistent, drawing him out, relaxing him. The slide of their mouths against each other soon became easy and thrilling all at once and Ray thought that it was incredible until Gavin’s tongue touched his and then it was _amazing._ He wanted to drown in Gavin’s everything and never come up for air. Gavin’s hands were cradling Ray’s face and his thumbs were wiping away Ray’s tears and Ray felt _real._  
  
Then, all at once, everything was visceral and close and actually happening and Ray was completely overwhelmed. He pulled away suddenly, and his tears were impossible to ignore now because he was really crying.  
  
“I- I’m sorry,” Ray sobbed quietly, trying to pull away, but Gavin just drew Ray into his chest and shushed him.  
  
“It’s okay, Ray. You’re okay.” Gavin rocked him back and forth and kissed the top of his head while Ray’s body was wracked with uncontrollable sobs. Gavin was worried, and refused to leave no matter how much Ray asked him to between heaves of his chest.  
  
He let Ray cry on him, and ran his hands through Ray’s hair soothingly until Ray finally fell asleep. Then, Gavin, unable to fight sleep despite his worries about what he might have done to Ray, finally let sleep take him to dreams.  
  
\--  
  
Ray woke up on the floor and his throat hurt like a bitch and his glasses were smudged to all fuck on the ground next to his head. It wasn’t the first time he had knocked out right in front of his bed but when he sat up he realized that someone had put a blanket on him.  
  
Then it came rushing back like getting slapped in the fucking face.  
  
He scrambled to sit up and put his glasses back on to see if Gavin was still in the room, but he was nowhere to be found.  
  
“Fuck.”  
  
Ray took his glasses off again and let the tears fall while he prayed to whatever god that sat up in the sky that he hadn’t completely fucked up everything. He was wiping his face with the blanket he assumed Gavin had covered him with before ditching him, when he heard the door to his room creak open.  
  
When he looked up he saw a blurry figure that could have honestly been anyone, and he groped around for his glasses attempting to clean them while also trying to look like he hadn’t been crying.  
  
“Who’s there?” Ray said right before slipping his glasses back on to find that it was the last person he fucking expected.  
  
“Gavin?”  
  
“Jesus, Ray. How bloody blind are you?” Gavin made his way into the room delicately as he was holding two mugs in his hands, closing the door behind him with his foot.  
  
“What are you doing? I thought-,” Ray started.  
  
“You thought I abandoned you! What kind of arsehole would leave his friend after all that. No, you absolute _donut_ , I went to make us some tea.” Gavin handed off one of the mugs to Ray and sat cross legged in front of him, blowing on his own tea gently.  
  
Ray just stared at Gavin in awe for a few seconds in silence before he even processed anything that Gavin had said.  
  
“Why the fuck did you make me tea?” Ray said finally, not knowing what else to say. He stared into the mug until his glasses fogged up and chuckled needlessly.  
  
“Well. That’s what makes me feel better after I’ve had a bad time of it,” Gavin mumbled, sipping his tea afterwards.  
  
Ray felt like the sun had taken root in his chest and just beamed at Gavin while Gavin sipped his tea in silence. Ray took a sip of the hot tea and gagged at the taste, Gavin laughing as Ray carefully put the mug on the ground.  
  
“Tea is really shitty, oh my god,” Ray said with a pinched look on his face. Gavin laughed wildly at Ray’s reaction and Ray really couldn’t help but smile and laugh along. Gavin placed his mug beside Ray’s so he could wipe the tears of laughter from his eyes when suddenly, Ray kissed him.  
  
Chaste. Sweet. Unexpected.  
  
Ray pulled away quickly and hid his mouth behind his hands, looking away as he did. Gavin never wanted those shining eyes to look away from him like that. He touched Ray’s shoulder, then pulled away, unsure if he was allowed.  
  
“I’m. I’m sorry,” Ray let out finally. Gavin gave a small smile and put his hand back on Ray’s shoulder gently.  
  
“It’s okay.”  
  
“Are we?” Ray muttered almost to himself, “…Okay?”  
  
“Dearest Ray, of course we are,” Gavin said.  
  
He leaned in and Ray closed his eyes, waiting for a kiss. He felt the press of lips against his forehead like snowflakes in the dead of summer and let out a shaky sigh.  
  
He and Gavin laid down in comfortable silence after that, waiting for the others to wake up. Every once in a while Gavin would face Ray again and smile and Ray felt that feeling thrumming under his skin, almost resembling anticipation.  
  
Like it was Christmas in July.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for making Ray cry. The angst in this just got away from me aaaa.  
> Regardless, hope you guys liked this one- or at least liked crying about it!  
> Leave a comment and let me know what you think! And as always, kudos is super appreciated because I love being validated!  
> ♥ [Come bug me on tumblr.](http://podcastandkill.tumblr.com/)


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